


Heavy is the Heart

by Ian_the_Existential_Crisis



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dark, DarkSparks, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Healing, I Swear this isnt THAT Dark, If I Missed a Tag Put It In The Comments, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Its 4 AM And As I Type These Tags I Wonder Why Nobody Reads My Stuff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Miscommunication, Ramya and Elliott are Best Friends, Self Confidence Issues, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, as usual, im bad at tagging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27602413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ian_the_Existential_Crisis/pseuds/Ian_the_Existential_Crisis
Summary: The universe must have been jealous of our meeting and that's why we aren't bonded. Don't worry, that stuff never really caught my interest.OrTaejoon is trying to keep himself afloat, which is hard when everytime he looks at his arm he is reminded that even his soulmate doesn't want him. But there is Elliott Witt. Stupid, annoying, sweet, loveable Elliott Witt. The universe won't let him have Elliott forever, but he was going to fucking cherish their time together.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon & Wraith | Renee Blasey, Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt, Horizon | Mary Somers & Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. Just Let Me...

**Author's Note:**

> I've been teasing this for a hot minute and here I go making it a two parter. Sorry. 
> 
> I can't believe this started out as my otp and devolved into Crytage... again. 
> 
> Also I think this story might be triggering so like, pls stay safe and know when to turn back.

_ His first memory was still vivid in his mind. It had to be roughly fifteen or sixteen years ago when he was five. He had to be five at the time because he hadn't stayed with Mystik much longer than that. He had cruelly taken back from her home, along with his sisters, and placed in the orphanage with the other unwanted children.  _

_ He sat in her lap, playing with her long auburn hair. When he was younger he liked to try to braid it for her and make flower crowns with his sisters. There was no flower crown atop her head in the memory.  _

_ "Oh child." She cooed at him. She always babied him the most even though he wasn't her youngest. "I wish I could say life will be easy for you. I wish I could hold and protect you forever but that's not how things work. You know that you are wonderful and brilliant. More than just words." _

_ At the time he hadn't understood a thing. He was merely a boy listening to his 'mother' dote on him. He didn't understand her words or her tone, but he smiled and nodded all the same.  _

_ His head whipped around as his older sister, Renee ran up. Her messy black hair filled with weeds and grass, like she had been rolling around in the dirt. She was an adventurous child so she might have been playing in the meadow with Milla.  _

_ "Mama! Can Taejoon come out? Mi and I are bored all alone." She batted her baby blue eyes at Mystik. "Pretty pretty please!"  _

_ "I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of Taejoonie yet." Mystik snuggled him tighter, making him giggle under her ticklish embrace. Her fingers danced across his tummy making him squirm with laughter and delight. "My baby Joonie, do you want to go play with your sisters? I know Alexander isn't here today to play games, but he had some trouble at work."  _

_ Usually he played with Alexander, even  _ _ though he was way older at the age of twenty-two. Alex liked to teach him things, show him science and math. They, more often than not, built things out of legos and a metal set with screws and bits that Alex owned. Taejoon was more of a homebody while his sister's liked to play in the open field that was their backyard. _

_ "I can play with Mi and Nee." He said innocent, tears in his eyes though Mystik had stopped her tickle attack.  _

_ "Be careful my baby." She gave him a light kiss on the forehead, brushing away his black bangs. "Be in before dark or else you're grounded Renee." _

_ "What? Why only me? That's not fair!" The raven haired girl whined. She was right, in Taejoon's mind, it wasn't fair to her. Milla was only a year younger than him, but Taejoon knew, at the age of five, when to be back. So did Milla.  _

_ "Renee, you are the oldest here today. You have to watch out for the younger ones." Mystik gave her a warm smile, reaching out her hand to cup Renee's cheek. "You are strong enough to protect everyone, aren't you?"  _

_ "Of course!" Renee yelled, her smile was missing the front two teeth. Mystic said they would grow back and she would have a wonderful smile again. "I'm strong, I will protect everyone!"  _

_ "That's my girl." Mystik said fondly. "Now scoot. You're burning daylight." _

_ "Come on Tae!" Renee grabbed at his arm.  _

_ He remembered her smile at that time. The way her light blue eyes lit up with excitement, because Taejoon never played with them while Alexander was home. But he also remembered her reaching out for him. The curved black letters that forever printed themselves on her skin.  _

**_I think I love you_ **

_ At the time he understood nothing at all. Only that he was going to play with his sisters, Mystik loved him, and that the words on Renee's arm were much different from his.  _

_... _

Taejoon lazily opened his eyes. He had to think for a second where he was. It wouldn't be the first time he had gotten so drunk he ended up in someone else's home. But the walls that surrounded him were that of his dorm room. 

"What the fuck?" He hissed, squinting at the light shining through his curtains, which were supposed to be blackout curtains but that didn't really help when they were drawn back. 

"Rise and shine asshole."

That annoying voice, that sounded as if it came from the hallway, could only belong to his annoying roommate. The curly haired man that he hated talking to. Elliott Witt was a walking talking slapstick joke. He was one of the most unintelligent geniuses that Taejoon had ever met. 

"What time is it?" He groaned, closing his eyes again. His head pounded and he really didn't want to deal with the idiot first thing in the morning. He certainly didn't want to see the dark skinned man leaving against his door frame.

"Time for you to get up. It's like almost 8:40."

"Fuuuuu" Taejoon let the word drag. He wasn't ready to face the world yet. He wasn't ready for anything. He just wanted to drown in his misery. Again. 

"Come on grumpy cat. It's time to get up." Elliott sighed, stroming in the room. "You know I already opened the curtains hoping you would wake up easier and I wouldn't have to come in here. Why do you have to make things so difficult for me?" 

"Because I hate you. Go away." Tae flipped over, tossing the blanket over his head, curling himself in a ball underneath. His eyes fluttered shut again, with most of the light being blocked. 

"I think the fuck not." Elliott growled, ripping the covers from the smaller man. The sun was blinding but somehow the air was frigid. Fuck, Taejoon hated autumn. "Get up, grumpy cat, or else." 

"Mmmm, or else what?" Taejoon hummed, refusing to open his eyes, curling tighter into a ball, trying his best to conserve some of the warmth he had from the blanket before his roommate so cruelly stole his only source of comfort. 

"I'll stick my dick in your ass, no lube."

"Like you haven't done that before asshole." Taejoon snapped back. Without even realizing it, he had given into Elliott's teasing tone. His eyes opened to see the dark skinned man hovering over him, his crooked nose inches from Tae's. 

"Gotcha." Elliott playfully winked, kissing the tip of Taejoon's nose. The younger, sleepier, man turned a bright shade of red. 

"Knock it off idiot." He mumbled, trying to scoot away, only to end up on the floor. He hadn't even heard Elliott lean into his overly noisy mattress. 

"Well, now that you're awake," Elliott gave him a floppy grin, holding out his hand to help Taejoon up off the cold floor. It was weird how they could have carpet in their dorm, yet the floor was cold like the wooden floor back in his parents home. "You want to eat breakfast or eat me?"

"Please stop." Taejoon yawned, yanking on Elliott's hand. He had hoped that the older, more sturdier- apparently- man would fall with his harsh pull, but he didn't even seem fazed. "Don't be such a flirt first thing in the morning. This is why you literally can't keep a date."

"No." Elliott tsked at him. "I can't keep a date because my soulmate hadn't had the time to find me yet. They better hurry. If they don't find me soon-"

"You'll end up fucking the whole town. I know." Tae rolled his eyes, finding his balance while using the other to hoist himself up. His eyes did linger on Elliott's covered arm though. 

It was getting colder. That was the only reason Elliott covered the words etched across his arm. Elliott's soulmate didn't outright reject him. Whoever they were, they didn't say that Elliott wasn't wanted. 

Deep down Taejoon knew he had no right to feel jealous. But that couldn't- wouldn't stop that sinful feeling from filling his gut. 

"What are you thinking about, grumpy cat?" Elliott asked, smoothing his pajama pants down. 

His voice was so calming and his eyes were like melted chocolate. Taejoon hated it. He hated the idiot. But mostly he hated the universe for not giving him Elliott to keep. The universe gave him Elliott to hold for the time being. It gave him the kind older man so he could feel some semblance of love, but in the end, the same universe would also take Elliott from him one day.

"Why don't you just go out and meet your soulmate already? An idiot like you could have passed them a million times but never actually spoken to them."

"When it happens, it happens." He shrugged simply, not letting go of Taejoon. Instead the older man tugged on him, forcing him to leave his bedroom. "I'm not in a rush." 

"People like you drive me to drink."

"Oh come on. First, I know you love me." Elliott said flirtatiously. "And, second, you'd drink yourself to death anyways. Soooo…. Yeah."

"Lay off." Taejoon snatched his arm away from Elliott's grasp. "I'm not going to die from drinking. I'm fine."

"That's what they all say."

"I told you I'm fine. I'll tell you a million times that I'm fine." 

Elliott smirked at him. A soft gasp escaped his lips when he finally put his thoughts into words. "You passed out in your outfit from last night. People who are fine make it to their beds, but you couldn't even get to the kitchen table."

Taejoon rolled his eyes. "Be serious. I sleep in my clothes all the time." 

"I am serious. You barely made it to the table last night. This place ain't that big Tae, the table is in the kitchen two steps from the living room and you couldn't even make it to the couch. Of course I'm worried about you." 

"Don't worry, idiot." Tae yawned. He dragged his feet every step of the way to the couch. 

"I will always worry, idiot."

Taejoon could feel the redness engulf his face. Something about having Elliott worry about him made him giddy, excited, and he didn't know why. But after a second the excitement passed and the cold realization washed over him. 

_ He's only mine for the moment. _

It will happen. It's fate. Elliott will meet his soulmate and fall in love. Then he will leave. He won't need Taejoon to fill the gaps, he won't have the time or energy to waste on caring or worrying or loving him anymore. And Taejoon will be left alone again. 

Tae looked down at his covered arm while Elliott freed himself to search for food in their next to bare cupboards. A small piece of him wanted to try to cut out the words that would never leave him, but it didn't work the last time he tried, it only worked in having his older sister send him away. Why would it work this time? 

**_Since you're here to ruin my life you should just jump already_ **

Taejoon sighed again. It was covered, away from wondering eyes, away from his line of sight. But his mind always went back to it. Maybe he should have jumped…

…

"I'm sorry I haven't come to see you." Renee whispered into the phone. She must have been trying her hardest not to wake Natalie up. As Renee described it, Natalie was very stubborn if woken up early, but Renee herself was a nightbird. But they were so in love that it didn't matter. 

But Renee still tried not to wake up her wife with their late night chats. 

"It's okay." Taejoon rolled his eyes, knowing she couldn't see him. That's why he refused to do a video call in all honesty. He didn't want to have to deal with her seeing him, sitting at his desk, homework in front of him, a bottle of rum pressed to his lips. 

And those were actual happy moments. 

"It's not like I expected you to come and visit. You have your own life, you know."

"Has Alexander been to visit?" Renee's tone was somber. She already knew the answer to that. He could tell she already knew. Her and Alex talked way more that Tae was willing to call her. 

"Why does it matter?" Tae felt himself bristle. He didn't want to hurt his sister's feelings. She really did have her own life, her and Natalie both worked for the government. Well, mostly, Renee managed to get herself into NASA, and he wasn't sure what department Natalie worked in. 

"Because he's been to see you and I haven't." 

He wanted to groan. Why was she bringing this up? It didn't even matter anymore. Things were different now. He was back in school. His roommate, who he was head over heels with, looked after him, and his soulmate was half a country away from him by now, never looking back. 

"Renee…."

"No! Tae, I have no excuse. I haven't seen you in years."

"We literally had a face chat last week."

"I haven't been to see you. Not in person. I haven't hugged you, or pinched your cheeks. I haven't been there as a big sister since I sent you to that place."

And there it was. The guilt was clear in her voice. That's what this was about. She felt guilty for sending him away and, to quote her, 'making things even worse.' 

It would have happened anyway. He had tried to tell her many times that she had nothing to do with it. But it didn't help that when Tae got out he was even more upset than going in. He, at the time, did blame her- but not anymore. He didn't see that she was trying to help him. All of that came second to his frustration, his sadness. 

So he chose to leave Renee and Natalie and their suffocating happiness behind and moved out, east, with Alexander. He had always been closer to Alex anyway, so he didn't think she would take it so hard. 

Maybe she felt lonely since Milla vanished. 

"Taejoonie." She said and he could hear her heart breaking with every word. And using the nickname he hadn't been called since childhood. "I want to come out there and see you. Just to make sure you're okay. Please."

"I can't stop you from coming to visit. Even if I said no, you could just ask Alex for my dorm and room number because we both know he would give it to you without my permission or knowledge. I'd rather tell you myself than have you pop in while Elliott is doing some of his stupid yoga or pilates or something."

"Elliott?" 

He winced. He hadn't really told her about Elliott. He always just referred to him as 'the roommate' and nothing more. He wasn't trying to hide the older man. 

Maybe, subconsciously, he was trying to hide the new life he built away from Renee. He knew it wasn't her fault. She didn't make him crumble last time. He had done that all on his own. But a piece of him didn't want to share, because when Elliott left and he crumbled under the pressure again he didn't want to blame Renee again. He didn't want her to be there so she could take the fall. It wasn't fair that she was willing to take the blame. It just wasn't. 

"Yeah… he's kinda hard to explain. But I guess you'll be meeting him soon." He sighed. 

As if being summoned, the door opened, revealing a very tired engineering student. Elliott had spent most of the week, upon locking up most of the alcohol so Tae would be able to make it to bed- as if he didn't have ways of getting more-, locked away in his workshop. 

"Grumpy cat! I'm so tired." He yawned out. 

"Fuck, Renee I have to go." He said into the phone before yelling back to his roommate. "Elliott are you okay? How much coffee did you have?"

Renee laughed lightly, obviously being able to hear the small squeak of 'not enough' through the speaker. "Good night Taejoonie. I'll text you tomorrow when I wake up about coming out there to see you."

"Good night." He mumbled back before ending the call. He leaned back in his chair, looking back to the kitchen where Elliott didn't look as dead on his feet as a few seconds ago. 

"Hey." Elliott whispered, making his way over to the desk in the small living room. 

"Hey yourself. I thought you were dying for a second." 

Elliott snickered, leaning over the chair to rest his chin on Taejoon's head. "Nah, I was just out for yoga with Ramya. But you looked so uncomfortable when I came in I may have overplayed it."

"Just a little."

"I thought maybe you were in a video call. I know you and your sister do that sometimes."

"Hmmm. I never thought you were home for those. She's never actually seen you, she didn't know your name until tonight."

"Should I be upset you don't talk about me?" 

"Why would I talk about you, idiot?" Tae hummed sleepily. "What should I say to her? Hi Renee, this is my roommate, Elliott, who fucks me on the side usually after we both get drunk at those parties I promised you I wasn't going to. I'm sure that will go over really well." 

"You could just tell her I'm the real love of your life."

TaeJoon laughed at that. Like the universe would make that kind of mistake. 

  
  


…

_ "She was old Tae. Humans can't live forever." Milla placed a hand on his back. "Nothing can truly live forever."  _

_ She, of course, was dressed in all black. Her eyes lined in the sad color, face pale, red hair tucked up in a haphazard bun that was probably thrown together by Renee. She already looked the part of the mourning daughter.  _

_ But Taejoon was still in disbelief that Mystik had died.  _

_ They told him that he had passed peacefully in her sleep. That she wasn't in pain or suffering. That it had simply been her time. And by they he meant Alexander told him in a cold and calculated tone while Renee sniffed behind him- which was weird because out of the four of them Alex was her only blood child. The rest of them she had fought tooth and nail through the adoption process for after they had been snatched back by the state for no real reason. _

_ "A small piece of me thought she would always be there for us." He mumbled. He was also dressed in black, looking the part of a mourning son, but he was still numb. Disbelief was the only real thing he felt.  _

_ Sure, he knew that nobody lived forever, but he thought Mystik would live long enough to watch all her children graduate. Taejoon still had another year and Milla was only a sophomore. Renee was graduating in the spring. _

_ "What happens now?" He asked. His question wasn't really at Milla, it had just escaped his thoughts. Would they have to go back to the home? Because even though Renee was of age, she couldn't take care of them, she was still in school.  _

_ "Alex will take care of us. At least until Renee graduates and gets a job."  _

_ They sounded like facts. Milla spoke as if she knew, but Taejoon understood that Renee was only human and could only handle so much.  _

**_._ **

_ A week. _

_ It had been a week since Taejoon had been able to get more that half an hour's worth of sleep. And honestly, he wasn't sure how much more he could take.  _

_ His exams were over. Renee and Alex refused to let him get a part time job, even though he knew they were both struggling without any real help. He didn't really have anything to stress about. Even the college he applied to had already sent out their acceptance letter. Everything was set.  _

_ So why the hell couldn't he sleep? _

_ He groaned, turning onto his side, throwing his covers off him, even though just a moment ago he was freezing, the room too warm for his liking.  _

_ He tried counting sheep. His phone was tossed across the room. Curtains drawn shut so no amount of light could get in. But his brain refused to turn off.  _

_ He thought he was okay. Then again, maybe refusing to go see his therapist wasn't exactly the okay thing to do. But it wasn't like he actually needed her help. Talking to her wouldn't make him sleep.  _

_ No! He was fine. Everything was fine. He just had sleeping anxiety, nothing more.  _

_ He turned again, his legs finding themselves back under the covers. If Renee weren't so stubborn and would trust him, maybe he could take sleeping pills.  _

_ But the last time she trusted him he took twice the recommended amount. He hadn't meant to, not really. He was super depressed at the time, but it was fine. That was over. He didn't have depression anymore. _

_ Even if Milla and Alex agreed that wasn't how depression worked. Alex said something about a chemical imbalance in the brain, blah blah blah, stuff he didn't play attention to because it didn't matter. And Milla said that he couldn't just will his feelings away. He had shown symptoms before Mystik passed away but it had only grown worse since then.  _

_ "Fuck."  _

_ … _

"Tae, isn't your sister coming today?" Elliott asked as he toed the hoodie Taejoon left on the floor after he had gotten home from his party. He, as a major surprise, actually made it to the couch before passing out. 

"Shit, is that today?" He winced at the light shining through the windows. It hit him right on the face as he turned to Elliott's voice. "I didn't realize so much time had passed."

"You okay?" Elliott asked, his eyebrows raising. Taejoon had known him long enough that he could tell the other man was trying to seem causal, and failing terribly. 

"Yeah." He whispered, turning his head back into the cushion. "I'm good." 

"Want coffee?" Elliott asked. Taejoon knew he was already making a pot for himself. 

"That stuff is gross. I'd rather have an energy drink." He didn't like the taste of it. He tried so many times. Creamers, sugars, anything he could, but it was just too much. 

"Helps with hangovers." There was a small snicker under Elliott's playful tone. 

Of course he would think this is funny. But kinda, in a way, it was the perfect revenge for when Taejoon got him drunk before Elliott's mom came to visit him on campus. 

Besides, it was a well known fact that Elliott hated energy drinks with a passion. He never fully explained why, but everyone he knew easily understood to never offer him an energy drink, ever. So Taejoon wasn't allowed to keep them in the dorm without threat of Elliott just chucking them out the window.

"Are you going to be home while Renee is over?" Taejoon asked, taking his first sip of the grotesque drink. 

"Maybe." He frowned, but it quickly quirked back up into a half smile. "I don't have classes today and Ramya hasn't gotten back to me about that party at Octavio's-"

"Wait, what the fuck?" Tae interrupted, letting his voice rise only to regret it seconds later. "Tav is my drinking buddy. Why aren't I invited?"

"It's not definite yet." The darker man replied smoothly. "And it wouldn't be till later tonight anyway. But don't you want to spend time with your sister?"

"She can stay with Alexander, I want to drink."

"You literally have a hangover from drinking, right now, and you want to get drunk again? You really are a special breed."

Watching Elliott laugh was the highlight of the morning for Taejoon. If he got to wake up next to Elliott Witt, he would consider himself the luckiest man alive. He settled for just loving him now. That's all he could do. 

  
_'But he isn't yours to keep.'_


	2. Chapter 2

_ Elliott's big brown eyes watched the door from where he sat on the first step of the staircase. He wore a frown on his face because he wasn't leaving like his big brothers. It really wasn't fair. Out of all of them, Elliott was the only one who enjoyed going to school. He was a social butterfly, he loved being at school with his friends. And he had just gotten Ajay to admit that maybe she was his friend too and it wasn't just Octavio who loved him. But of course, he had to miss the first day of the new year. And because of what? A stupid cold? A mild fever? An overprotective dad?  _

_ Yeah, his mom was still at work so it was definitely his, big meanie, dad's fault. _

_ He pouted as his oldest brother, Oliver, patted him on the head, telling him to get better. He hated when his older brothers treated him like a child. He was already twelve and they acted like he was a baby. It didn't matter if they were all in high school and he was only in his first year of middle school, he wasn't a defenseless infant.  _

_ And hopefully he wouldn't be the youngest for long. His mother, Evelyn, asked him what he thought about having a baby brother or sister. He hoped that meant that his parents were already planning for a new child. He would make a great older brother!  _

_ "Make sure to relax." Oliver smiled at him. Their father gathered the other two sleepy teens, herding them to the car. "If you don't get better mom and dad will never let you go to school."  _

_ Elliott did the mature thing, and stuck his young out at his oldest brother. "I wish you were the one sick!" _

_ "Me too, I would love to not go to school. But if I stayed home with you I'll never get into a good college." _

_ "I'm not going to college. That's stupid." Elliott huffed. His brother knew it wasn't true, Elliott loved school.  _

_ Oliver playfully frowned at him, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow. "Not all of us have a soulmate who is older than us and willing to take care of us. Some of us have to work to get anywhere in life."  _

_ Elliott glanced at his brother's arm. There was nothing scrawled across his skin. No message, no soulmate.  _

_ But Elliott didn't have that problem. His soulmate had always been there. Always been at his side. His brothers often made fun of him for the writing on his arm. _

**_Aye, I'll take care of ye, wee one._ **

_ But what could he do? Those were the first words she ever spoke to him. The first time she ever saw him she must have known, even though he was a small child in his mother's arms, Mary had known that they were bonded. _

_ The universe didn't seem to care that she was ten years older than him.  _

_ "I'd better go, before dad comes and drags me out too." Oliver laughed. "Get better or else! See you after school." _

_ Hindsight is always the most painful. Elliott didn't ask for a hug before his big brother left because he was gross and sick. But if he had, their dad would have stormed him, tiredly scolding the oldest and checking on Elliott before they left. They would have left late.  _

_ And the crash that claimed the lives of two-thirds of the Witt family would have been avoided.  _

_. _

Taejoon groaned when the sharp knock resonated off the cheap wood of their front door. He wasn't ready. He would never be ready. He couldn't be ready if he didn't take his face away from where he planted it on the not so comfy pillow on the couch. Elliott must have given it to him while he was sleeping, along with a blanket because he was very sure that he just tipped forward, not caring if he made it on the sofa or not, after the events of last night. 

His headache pulsed viciously with each knock.

Facing Renee, especially after he so blatantly ran away from her and the loving home she tried to provide for him, was one of the things he thought he could somehow always avoid. He had his silly video chats with her, sometimes Natalie would join in too if they chatted before she went to bed, which wasn't very often, and honestly that's all he wanted. It was all he needed. 

Being face to face with Renee again, having her near him, close enough to touch - to hug, it was all too much. He couldn't be the perfect little brother she hoped he would turn out to be. Hell, without Elliott watching out for him, he was just a fucking mess most of the time. 

_ "I can't do this. I really can't. It's all too much."  _ The panicked voice in the back of his mind screamed at him as he woke up. 

But he pushed it down. He wasn't going to listen to it. It wasn't like he could listen to the anxious voice in the back of his mind anyway, Renee was already there, knocking at the door.

"Fuck." He whispered, gritting his teeth, pushing himself from the pillow. 

His arms shook before he let himself flop back down. He didn't have the mental strength to do this. A big piece of him wondered if he could simply push her off onto Alexander until… well, forever. 

But the knock came again. 

Fuck, where did Elliott run off to when Taejoon needed the ultimate wingman? 

"I'm coming, chill!" He groaned loudly, hoping that the knocking would cease. 

"Tae." Her voice wasn't angry or anything, but it was obvious by her forced passiveness that she heard his attitude through the door. He couldn't see her face but he already shivered at the thought of the look her eyes held. 

For once, sleeping on the couch would work in his favor, because at the very least he was already dressed. He might have smelled a little, but he knew Renee would just equate that to the lack of care students sometimes have after exam season. And it wasn't a total lie. He had tests previously.

He groaned one more time before finally getting up. This would be so much easier if it weren't happening at all. Where the fuck was Elliott when he needed him?


End file.
